It's been a while since I posted on here...
I've been spending a lot of my time thinking and trying to stay off of social media. I didn't want to come on here and write about how discipline can always keep us going and that we can be productive all of the time. We know this isn't true. And I'll be honest, I've felt super unproductive lately and hard on myself about it. I've noticed that I feel slightly uncomfortable a lot of the time. This silent, mild, and constant feeling. In the last few weeks, I've been trying to find the source of my discomfort.
But what I've come to realize is that I don't know, nor do I have to have an answer. Instead, I have to change my perspective and see what HAS been going well instead.
So let's take a step back. I want to share one of my journal's I did for myself last week. I would like to preface that I have not been writing and meditating as often as I would like to. I sometimes find that speaking into my phone about what's going on helps and that is exactly what I did. It read:
9/22/21 @ 12:33pm
"I’m sort of feeling anxious and trying to sort my thoughts out. I think that it’s been sort of difficult lately because I’ve been trying to push certain thoughts out of my head. I’ve been really stressed and I’m trying to just keep up with my discipline. I feel like I am entering into a new level of discomfort. I know it’s good to be uncomfortable and I’ve been reading about it. I think I’m in a really good period of growth and change for my life, so with that I need to take charge and really define my purpose. That means really just helping brands elevate and take their vision to life. I think that it’s so important to be creative and be able to live in every step of a consumers journey, see their pain points, and address them. I want to get to know them on a personal level. It's about more than just selling someone a product. The most important thing is asking myself how can I positively impact other peoples lives? SHOW THEM. This means showing them the key aspects of a healthy mindset because we only have one life. Time is our most valuable asset and social media can be deceptive at times. I want people to be honest and vulnerable and realize the importance of human connection/relationships. Ultimately I’m doing my journal through voice so that way I can clear my thoughts and keep up with my habits, not just check something off of the list, and really see how this can transform my life as I enter this new phase of being 22. I am so grateful for this discomfort because I know that I am growing. I am grateful for the ability to move my body and see the positive impacts on my mental health. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from others through books, podcasts, and interviews. By not only learning from other people but actually implementing their advice, I will be able to elevate myself to the next level. I am grateful for all of the resources and opportunities out there to learn out there from people that are where I want to be. Let’s get it!"
It's definitely messy and all over the place. But that's what journaling is for. Clearing your head. Reducing stress. Becoming more in tune with your body. But as I read it over, I noticed that without even realizing it, I kept turning a negative feeling into a positive one through my words. I'm not going to be the same person in a year as I am today. Over the last few days I've been talking in conversations about this one phrase: people that are too stuck in their past or looking far ahead into the future, are lost in the present. As I find myself struggling to understand why I am feeling uncomfortable, I'm realizing that I just need to take a breath and stay present in today. It's not going to look perfect all the time. I'm going to have crappy days. But so will you. It's going to be about how you handle it that will stick.